(:

You keep me happy.
You are the opposite of pessimism.
& that's what i need.

A daily dose of you,
to keep me going.

Right now, i'm about to explode. Like a bomb, my time has run out. I need to release everything that is inside me, somewhere, somehow.

Like the grass, i sway where the wind blows.
Like a theatrical production, i give you drama.
Like the fire, i burn in a fury passion.
Like a prodigy, i too have a flair for something.
Like the macadamia shell, i am difficult to crack.
Like any other girl, i deal with self-esteem issues from time to time.
Like a magician, i can create illusions to fulfill your fantasies.
Like a dream, i indulge myself into things which are pleasant and nice.
Like a bird, i must have a lot of freedom.
Like any imagination, i go wild.
Like jumping off a cliff, i love the thrills.

Chocolate Lovers 123

Had chocolate buffet at fullerton hotel last night with zhixin & julian! Swear they are my best chocolate buddiesss :DDD I was expecting alil more varieties from the choices of chocolates though.... Nonetheless, it was a wonderful sensation to have chocolates for dinner. Strawberries, honeydew and pineapple coated with a thin layer of melted chocolate... Mandarin orange chocolate cake... Blackforest delight... Chocolate mousse... Macaroons... etc etc.! Best thing about the buffet isn't the food but with the people i hang out with, the ambience and the tea. :) Kay, gotta now. I've got tons of projects to rush. GOSh.

Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire.

-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"It's for the best..." (My ass)

There will never be another day when i can smile like how you made me smile again.

Back on track.

Birthday Girl Nasuha

Peach & Longan Delight!!!

Nasuha & Nash

Shannon

C.o.u.r.a.g.e is what i have.

D.i.s.c.i.p.l.i.n.e is what i need.

C.o.n.f.i.d.e.n.c.e is what i build.

B.e.a.u.t.y is what i possess.

H.a.p.p.i.n.e.s.s is what i give.

&

K.a.r.m.a is what i bring.

# 30

Lets see what i've been up to lately:

1) broke up with gene

2) learnt a lot from this r/s

3) hitting the gym

4) realized that i'm actually weighing only 45.2kg now

5) not happy at all. because i want a tonned body. mine is still flabby

6) devouring each and every book that comes along my way

7) magazines too

8) i feel like a free bird

9) many activities are coming my way

10) took out my braces. still not use to looking at my teeth in the mirror

11) getting my hair trimmed and dyed this wed weeeeeeeeeee!!!

12) i will definitely live my life even better from now

13) i hav a devious plan up my sleeve

14) i think my stomach became smaller

15) andy says,"you're fucking skinny now. i don't know you."

16) getting a sun tan next month

17) met up with liza & i miss her very much :(

18) shopping trip with julian next sat! :DDD

19) did 3 sets of 25 sit-ups

20) im in love with cranberry and vanilla absolut

21) feel like thanking everyone who made me this way (if u can even sense some sarcasm)

22) i will live up to my name

23) went to universal studios

24) felt like a tourist again!!!

25) but that place is nothing compared to tokyo disneyland

26) seoul garden tmr with 1b/21

27) just watched 'she's out of my league'

28) "never feel that you're not good enough for yourself."

29) learn to put in effort in areas where you can receive good results

30) can't wait to watch the a-team! "they are the best, and they specialise in the ridiculous."

My Goal

Is to not have any more goals.

Train rides in the morning are horrible

How can anyone even stand taking the train in the morning?! (Arnd 7-8am aka. peak hour)
I hate it. I hate taking trains in the morning but i have to. First of all, the cabins are packed with lots and lotsa people! So many that you have to push and jostle your way through the doors of the train just to grab a space. Secondly, the sun is so damn scorching hot! It makes me perspire like hell!!! & Thirdly, people love stepping on my shoe/foot/slippers/whichever.

Fourthly, Singaporeans are the most selfish people in the world. They don't fucking bother moving into the centre of the cabin. Most of them just stand near the doors. Convenient for you i see. Selfish bastards/bitches/assholes. And because of that, sometimes i have to purposely miss 3-4 trains just to wait for another train that has space for me to squeeze myself in when the people are already packed like sardines at the door.

I had another bad experience this morning. :( A man stepped on my toes and didn't even turned around to apologise to me when i let out a yell because of the excruciating pain. I almost wanted to scream, "FUCK YOU!" at him and throw my laptop into his bloody face but i didn't. (Had to keep my image)

You see, how more inconsiderate/insensitive/selfish/self-centred/disregarding/careless can ALL YOU SINGAPOREANS BE? (This applies mainly to the working class adults.) DIDN'T YR MAMA TEACH YOU TO APOLOGISE PROFUSELY WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY/PURPOSELY STEPPED ONTO OTHER PPLE'S TOES? hurrrr?! RAWRRRRRR!!!!

Shame on you people. tsk tsk.

Self-esteem

Let's see what i've done for the past few weeks.....

Hmm... studying?

Exercising....

Study
Exercise

Study
Exercise
Study
Exercise.

& the list goes on.

Yeap, basically that.

How more boring can my life be....

I can't believe Angelina Jolie & Lily Allen actually do have self-doubt and they struggle from it time to time. I should be the one telling them, "Hey!!! I'm the one who's supposed to have it more than you!!" Yes, i'm self-critical and i've got issues about my body. And i think i need to do something about it.

My mst is approaching. I.Need.To.Score.So.Badly.

Home sweet home baby. 5 more days.

Who's this unknown?

I took this paragraph from Hazel's blog (i really hope you wouldn't mind, & you should be flattered :D wherever you got it from, it's so perfect) because i felt that it was so close to how i was feeling and that these words were what i was searching for to tell G.


"If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.
You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible." - Unknown


I'm sorry baby, i know you didn't sign up for all these shit from me but it's all part of the package. *winks*

j'adore.

Whoever that wrote this must be known.

Ck told me to read the writings on a card while we were at a popular bookstore td and i thought it was pretty funny so i decided to jot it down.

Here it goes,

We heard that you're leaving,
You really can't stay.

Your boxes are packed,

You're going away.

You can't be replaced -

that's totally true.

There isn't a match for someone like you.

But we'll get along,

You won't see us crying.

We'll try to be strong...

Oh heck!
We're all lying.

LOL.

Guilty Pleasure

What's yours?

:)

21 days

My Dark Knight in Shining Amour took off for Taiwan this morning and he would only be back after twenty-freaking-one days. :( Well i guess it's time for me to concentrate on my work and do some changes to myself before he gets back :)

I've been really busy with school, rushing reports, presentations, blah blah. You know, the usuals. Something good abt my course is that i don't have to dress up for presentation. I can practically flop through the whole presentation with my slippers on and still get good grades for it. (Provided if i did an excellent job in presenting my ppt) Heh.

Last Sat i had my first experience at Supperclub. It was not what i expected it to be. By the time gene & i arrived, it was already 2am and they played house electro till the party ended. Oh well, we missed out all the fun. =/ Plus there were lots of malays which made the entire scene pretty much ... sucky.

&omfg i just saw many things which i wanna get!!!!

Girls can never get enough of shopping

I'M FAT X100000000000000000000

I feel like shit now. Just because of a sentence he said, "You need to exercise, but she doesn't." Almost immediately my facial expression changed from a :) to a :( and then afterwards to a _|_ and now to a T.T

I'm gonna starve myself even more and hit the gym more often than ever. I hate myself. I only had two sandwhiches since this morning. Sounds like a good progress to me. Very soon i'll be hitting a uk size 4. FML. And then if other people continue to say it, i'll be a size 2 so i can fucking just quit school and go be a runway model.

FUCK THE WORLD FUCK MY LIFE AND FUCK MYSELF. I FUCKING HATE MYSELF TO THE CORE.

PESTSSSSS

Have you ever thought why Baygon, yes the insect killer, the insecticide, is called 'Baygon'? LOL. If i'm not wrong it's pronouced as "by-gone" right? I wonder why they didn't call it 'Bigone' or 'Byby'. At least they could've made an advertisment saying that,"Be gone all you pests!" And then shows how all the pests in the world gets wiped out with just one spray of the deadly toxic. OR! They can go like, "Say bye bye to pests with Byby extermination spray!" And then with one instant spray on the cockroach, the insect drops dead immediately.

They should totally make one for the humans too. So people can just grab the can and spray it at their high school nemesis or some irritating pests which will only contribute anything but nothing to the society. Wow. That would definitely be the Top-seller of the year man...

Okay, that was totally random. Btw, KICK-ASS is sucha KICK-ASS! movie i tell ya. If action+comedy is what you like, you'll love this show. The beginning is already very funny......... shan't be the spoiler. You go catch it on yr own!

p.s. I <3 Hit girl.

Twisted

Food deprivation is something which i do to myself when i'm down.
I didn't had any this morning, even though i was freaking hungry and food was all around me cos my classmates were all eating except for me. So i just watched them stuff food into their faces and i got hungier by looking at that process.

It was 10.30am & i was starving already. But i refused to eat.

10.45am,
X.p asked, "Are you getting anything to eat?"
"No." Was my only reply to her.

Tick tok tick tok....
11.00 - 12.00noon was our lesson till the next break.

At 12 o'clock x.p asked me again for like the 5th time; and this time i got irritated so i snapped at her, "No! This is like the 5th time you're asking me already!"

12.03 - as i was texting nasuha & shannon, a new msg came in. & to my pleasant surprise it was my Bi.

He said this, "I'm sorry bi, i over-reacted. Study hard, i love you, always."

But i still refused to eat!!!

Then shannon suggested that i eat some fruits. That was when i did a double take and decided to eat. In the end, i took a piece of agar agar so as to brighten up my day and a cup of apple&orange juice to balance out my emotions.

It's funny how food can actually balance my emotions and brighten my day right? Haha, cause the agar x2 has many layers in different colours & apple is sweet but orange is sour!! Geddit geddit?!

And it really worked. I didn't feel hungry anymore and i was able to untangle those thoughts which i had it for hours ago. :)

School

I hafta wake up at 6am every ffing morning for school. This is just sooo damn ridiculous. Isn't that the part why we all hate going to school? :(

I can't wait to get these:

1. Pale pink & nude colour nail polish
2. Oversized colourblock dress from osf
3. Ripped jeans
4. Accessories from forever21
5. Boat shoes from Vans

Which means to say i need more cash!!!

A Separation

The joy & motivation which keeps me going back to school is no longer there anymore. I hate my new class. It sucks. Only half of my old classmates are with me, the other half whom i'm closer with has gone into Industrial Chemistry....... Sighsssssss*

Last week of holiday

A lil bit of sun plus gym session with nasuha, and friday's morning coffe+urban newspaper basically wraps up my final week of relaxation. Time to hit the books once again, ready for a storm of assigments. I can't wait for school to start! :)

My timetable is out and guess what, i'm totally packed. Mondays 8am - 5pm, Tuesdays 10 - 5, Wed 8 - 3, Thurs 8 - 1, Fri 8 - 5. Friday is supposed to end early!!!! I hate it when friday sessions are so long and draggy... Needless to say, it's super boringgg omfgggg. Year 2 is gonna be tough shit man. (This sem GPA 3!!!!! Aja aja fighting!!!)

I screwed up my 1st sem of year 1 and now my cumulative GPA is really pathetic even though i did pretty well this sem. :( I'll take it as another lesson learnt, never to slack ever again. Lol.

Here are 5 improvements which i wanna do by the end of 2010:
1. To hit my ideal weight of 45kg. I'm now 47.5kg.
2. GPA of 3.0!
3. Whiten my teeth once i take out my braces
4. Persevere the pain when wearing heels (i always end up wearing flats)
5. All in all, become slimmer, prettier, an all-rounder.


p.s. I promise you i will excel in piano, academics, beauty, & fashion.
So full of myself? I know.

Dear Love Diary,

#1 G complaints that i don't blog about our happy moments here... which is why i'm doing it right now :)
#2 We always fight for the egg white (Winner takes all! But usually G will give me half :D )
#3 He tells me that he loves me everyday
#4 I'll disturb G till he wakes up if i am up first
#5 We love doing shopping together!
#6 He will never fail to make me laugh :D
#7 We hurl vulgarities at each other if our quarrel gets heated. :(
#8 We spend our weekends together - catching movies, dinner at astons, dinner at his house when his mum cooks (she cooks the most delicious food i tell you), curl up in the sheets & sleeping till 12noon, having coffee on sundays etc.
#9 First time in my life i hear G said, "Bi, let me pack my own bag tmr, i'll be a good bf."
Then the next day...
His mum asked, "Eh wanna play mahjong?"
He said, "Okay, steady lahzxzxz! Mahjong most important."
Adds on, "BI! Help me pack my bag! Loveyou."
#10 G calls me (almost) every night in camp :) but he can no longer do that often........................ T.T
#11 He treats me like a princess (i feel like a royalty)
#12 I help G to arrange his wardrobe, pack his bag for army, pour drinks for him, wash his clothes for him, feed him food, bathe him, sayang him (no lah, just kidding, only the first 3 are true hehe)
#13 G is the most cheesy person i've ever met
#14 I'm the total opposite, i like to act like i don't freaking care lol
#15 He buys everything(well,not everything...but almost :))for me!

Yours truly,
xoxo.

If you love the person, don't make a mistake.

Happy Birthday mah Bitch!

First of all,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LIZA WUUuUuuUu YOUR HIGHNESSS
I really hope that you'll have a good time in Australia regardless whether it's your birthday or not. Butttttttttttt what i just heard from you sounds like you're gonna have a crappy bd afterall :( Lessons from 11am alllll the way till 6pm? Gosh. Mine's not any better. My monday lesson starts from 8am to 5pm. Who's worst? HAHAHHA.

So anyway, i caught the movie, 'Monga' last saturday with gene, his sister & her bf. What can i say, no.1 top selling movie in taiwan? This show is a hit man! Its mostly about brotherhood & gangsterism. And and and, more importantly, those guys who are acting inside the movie are all very handsome!!!!(Not all actually. only a few) Ummmmm... Life! said that they were the most handsome guys in taiwan...(don't know if their facts were true or not)

Well, apart from the handsome actors, the storyline is good. Good because of the fact that the plot is realistic. I don't really know how to put it in words... It's just... impactful & inspiring. Especially the part when one of the brothers betrayed the rest because he wanted to be the 'head' of the Monga andddddddddd the most significant part of the entire movie was the last 15-20mins. Shan't elaborate! I don't wanna be a spoiler! You guys should just watch it. Ima rate it 4 out of 5 stars.

Sounds good? REMEMBER TO CATCH IT THEN!

p.s i miss my baby already...